“Raising Good Humans” by Hunter Clarke-Fields
This parenting thing isn’t for lightweights. Seriously, there are so many ways to fail at parenting, and we all struggle with the same inner conflicts. And, nobody thinks they’re winning at parenting. Let’s just start from that foundation and move forward.
Raising Good Humans is a dream level achievement, and we all want to accomplish that one really big thing, if we have children. And the only ones who make no mistakes, are those who have no children. Those good folks impact all our lives. Do you hear the dripping sarcasm here?
MINDFUL MAMA MENTOR: https://www.mindfulmamamentor.com/blog/raising-good-humans-hunter-clarke-fields-197/
I read this book, somewhat tongue in cheek, because parenting books are often written by people who don’t have children. But this one was different. The author was quite obviously a parent. I realized that when I read the sentence, “I sat in the upstairs hallway crying.” Oh, honey… I’ve been there. And we don’t even have an upstairs hallway. Sitting outside my daughter’s bedroom door crying, waiting for her to come out so I could apologize to her and start over on my own parenting journey – I’ve experienced that low in my life.
Reading these significant ideas about parenting made me want to reach backward and change some of my own reactions, but they also gave me methods to just stop. Look at what I’m doing right now. Find what’s working. And know what to do going forward as a mom. The best part was the realization that I haven’t ruined my kids, I just need to adjust my thinking and make things better from now forward.
For instance: Breaking the cycle of reactivity, right off the start shared insights and ideas that help a parent to react differently, by acknowledging their own fear and triggers. I found myself thinking differently about why my children might be acting out. BIG change in reality when I realized my own feelings were at risk when I reacted sharply toward my children.
By shifting my personal reactions, I could change how I reacted to my children. Maybe understand why they were acting out and solve the problem rather than correct the behavior.
In reality, I found myself listening more than speaking after reading through this at first.
The stories in the book allowed me to learn from others mistakes without feeling personally judged, a really big thing – also a big part of how to help children receive correction without feeling judged. What a big relief to ask my son who did that and not hear, “Not me!” when I’d watched him do it.
It’s entirely possible I needed this book more for my own healing, than for my parenting skills. I see benefits in both areas and I definitely recommend this book. It will be one of my top shelf publications for parenting research. I love it. And I’ve already ordered some copies for friends who want to raise good humans too. This book will bless many parents and change the direction of the next generation.
Kendall Townsend, posted by Nicole Killian